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“But as you know, the chemicals in our brainfrequently veer from the logical, and I found thatwhen I was assessing the situation, I wasn’t going tobe satisfied with accusations, apologies and promisesthat I could never be sure you would keep. I thoughtof revenge, such as having sex with other men, but Ihad no desires in that direction. I also thought ofhow I could hurt you psychologically — I would neverhurt you physically — and I came up with some ideasthat I might have been able to use to make you anobject of pity or derision.“But sadism is foreign to my nature. The hardest partsof my rat experiments are always when the rats arehurt even slightly, either physically orpsychologically. I always work to minimize suchinjuries. To me, they are only justified when theexperiment could yield results that could dramaticallyimprove human life.“Thinking of my research with rats is what finallygave me an idea that felt right to me. And since yourresearch is. It was sometime around 1960 when things went bad for George. We moved that year, and I was busy navigating the complicated world of fifth grade in a new school, so I didn't want to spend much time at my grandparents' house anymore. I didn't see George as much, so I wasn't aware of a change in him.My Dad told me years later that George had started telling the family in 1960 that people were following him. My Dad said he was visiting my grandparents one time when George suddenly pointed to a car that drove down the street in front of the house. "See that car?" he said. "That's the one. That's the car that's been tailing me."My Dad said he jumped up and ran outside to take down the license plate number. "I believed him," he said. "He had never said anything crazy before, so I believed someone was really following him, and I wanted to get the license plate number."Before long, though, George's behavior got more odd, and the family realized he was getting sick. They didn't know what to do.
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